


I'll Find My Way

by allofspace



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Time, Human Castiel, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 11:17:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1004798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allofspace/pseuds/allofspace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron Bass is in Kansas and calls Dean up, which leads to a few revelations by both Cas and Dean. Sam is a smug little shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Find My Way

**Author's Note:**

> This is vaguely based sometime in the future of season 9. Cas is human and they've all reunited at the bunker and the whole Sam/angel possession situation is not talked about.

Dean and Sam get lots of calls; calls about needing their help and weird occurrences that they should look into. They don’t have many friends left anymore, but they still get calls. 

They haven’t taken calls in a long while; not since the angels fell and Sam was in a coma. He’s doing a lot better now though, and they’ve finally got the angels off their trail. When they’d finally managed to get back to the bunker, Cas was there waiting. Dean had been thinking about what he’d say to Cas, what he’d do, the whole drive back to Kansas. He was so relieved when Cas had called to say he was safe in the bunker, Dean could have cried with joy. 

But when they walked in and Cas was sitting at the table waiting for them, everything felt too normal again. Sam hugged Cas, and Dean hugged Cas, and he held on too tight, but there was nothing more than that. Dean felt a weight lift from his shoulders, but a tightness settled in his stomach. 

So once things had calmed down, they got in touch with Garth and took some cases. A few weeks later, they were back in the bunker and Dean got a call he was definitely not expecting.

“Um, hey, Dean?”

Dean was pretty sure he recognized the voice, and didn’t really know how to answer.

“It’s Aaron. Aaron Bass?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. Hey. How did you get this number?” Dean was a mix of weirdly flustered and confused. 

“Oh. Sorry. Sam left me with your guys’ numbers. Was I not supposed to use them?”

“No. Yeah, of course. What’s up? You in trouble?” Dean asked seriously. He was acting like an idiot when there could be a rampaging Golem or some more Nazis on the loose. 

“No, no. I mean not real crazy kind of trouble. But I’m sort of stranded, and I’m actually in Kansas. You guys probably aren’t though, are you?” Aaron said, sounding like he was really regretting calling and might start going on a self-loathing tangent soon. “I mean you guys get around a lot, or are busy with important save-the-world type stuff and –“

“Woah, man. Calm down,” Dean said, letting a small laugh escape him. At least he wasn’t the one rambling. “We are actually in Kansas right now. Work is kind of slow. Where are you? I’ll come pick you up,” Dean suggested, surprising even himself with the offer. But he realized he didn’t really mind. He felt like he was going a bit stir crazy being in the bunker with only Sam and Cas. 

Aaron wasn’t really sure where he was, but he was in a diner and once Dean heard the name, he knew exactly where to go. Aaron was near Wichita, which was a few hours drive, so not too bad. 

Dean quickly filled Sam and Cas in about what was happening. Sam seemed a bit suspicious, and Cas warned him to be careful of angels. Dean refrained from rolling his eyes, feeling like a kid being nagged by his parents. 

The drive was relaxing, and Dean blasted some of his old cassettes and drummed on the steering wheel. When he started getting close though, he had a nervous buzz about him. In true Dean fashion, he ignored it as best he could. 

He pulled into the parking lot where there was only one other car and a sad looking truck. Dean turned off the ignition and sat for just a second to berate himself for feeling nervous or whatever this feeling was. He breathed in deep and went into the diner. He saw Aaron immediately sitting at the counter, with a mug in between his hands and a large backpack at his feet. 

“Hey,” Dean said, causing Aaron to finally turn and see him. 

“Dean, hey!” Aaron said, jumping off the stool and throwing his arms out as if to hug Dean before he thought better of it, retracting one of them and holding the other out for Dean to shake. The whole thing was sort of awkward to watch so Dean quickly shook the hand once and suggested they go sit in a booth. 

“I could use a bite to eat. Wasn’t exactly a short drive.” Dean gazed over the menu.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I really didn’t know who else to call and I thought it would be a long shot,” Aaron said, looking down at the menu just for something to do. He wasn’t really intending to get anything. 

They passed some time with small talk about the Golem (still no big incidents) and saving the world (more like failing at it, Dean says. I’m sure that’s not true, Aaron replies). Once Dean had eaten half his burger and was taking a break to sip his coffee, he finally asked Aaron what was going on.

“You’re a long way from Pennsylvania,” Dean says as a segue. 

“I sort of felt like I needed to get away. I just wanted to leave and travel a bit, you know?” Aaron spoke, but Dean senses there was more to it. He wasn’t one to pry though, so he just nodded in understanding. 

“I uh sort of ran out of money and places to stay though,” Aaron half-smiled awkwardly. 

Dean laughed and shook his head. “Quite the emergency. So have you been nursing the one mug of cold coffee for the past how-many-ever hours?”

“Pretty much. After about 3 hours, I was wired and desperate enough to finally call you,” Aaron said in a soft voice. Dean looked up and Aaron looked away. 

“You want a burger or something? My treat,” Dean said, feeling pretty bad for the guy. 

“No, I couldn’t. You’ve already come all the way out here,” Aaron said, but Dean could tell he really wanted to take him up on the offer.

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it. Seriously, I came out here to save your ass, so I’m not gonna let you starve.”

Aaron took a moment to look at Dean, making Dean shift uncomfortably under the gaze. “Sure. Yeah, thanks.”

Once they’d both eaten and talked for a while longer, Dean looked at his watch. It was almost midnight, and the diner was closing. 

“It’s a bit too late to drive all the way back. Wanna grab a drink somewhere and hit up a motel? We can get an early start tomorrow,” Dean suggested. He hadn’t been out to a bar for some relaxing drinks in a long while. Aaron agreed, so Dean texted Sam just so he wouldn’t freak out worrying about him. 

It didn’t take much driving before they found a motel that was conveniently located right next to a bar.

“Single room, two beds please?” 

The creepy motel attendant looked between Dean and Aaron before replying that they only had single bed rooms left. Dean sighed and added an extra $50.

“I’d love to take your money, but it won’t change the fact we don’t have any doubles left,” said the man with a missing front tooth. 

“I’ll just sleep on the floor, it’s fine,” Aaron said, not wanting to cause any trouble. 

“Yeah, we’ll figure it out,” Dean said, handing over some money and taking the room key. They dropped off Aaron’s backpack before heading to the bar. 

It actually ended up being pretty fun after that. Dean had forgotten how relaxing it was to grab a beer with a friend and talk about stupid crap. After a few beers, serious stuff didn’t seem so heavy.

“I knew it!” Aaron proclaimed. “Shooting stars, my ass. I knew something was up.”

Dean laughed at Aaron’s excitement. “Yeah, I can’t believe anyone bought that. But I guess it’s easier to believe than angels.”

“Fuck,” Aaron said, rubbing his forehead. “That’s sort of fucked up, you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” Dean said, wiping some condensation on his glass. He took a large gulp of beer and decided not to dwell on all the recent shit that’s been dumped on the Winchesters. “Man, I gotta say. It’s sort of weird being here with you considering the last time we were both in the same bar you were blatantly hitting on me,” Dean chuckled and kept drinking his beer. 

“Woah now,” Aaron said as he leaned closer to Dean. “If I remember correctly, I was the one tailing you and totally bluffing. I never expected you to get all flustered and shit.”

“I was not flustered,” Dean wanted to sound offended but he couldn’t help but laugh a little. “I was just… surprised. I mean I have been hit on by guys before,” Dean said, not sure what point he was trying to make. 

“I don’t doubt that,” Aaron said. Dean suddenly realized how close they were talking and that Aaron’s eyes were staring a direct path to his lips. Dean could help but lick his lips and watch Aaron’s gaze follow his tongue. 

Aaron looked back up at Dean. “You’re, like, really pretty. You know that, right?”

“Jesus, you’re drunk,” Dean said, trying not to choke. He looked around to make sure no one else heard. There were hardly any people inside and the bartender was at the other side of the bar. Dean was worried he might even be blushing.

“You know I had a plan for if you caught on right? If you noticed me following you, I totally had a story planned out. But then you actually came over and I couldn’t help but toying with you to see your reaction. I thought it’d be funny or that you’d try to hit me,” Aaron said, his voice low so Dean had to lean in to hear him. “But damn if you didn’t get flustered and it fucking killed me,” Aaron finally finished. 

Dean was drunk, way too drunk. Because it suddenly seemed really tempting to lean in and kiss Aaron, but of course he wouldn’t. Except that he sort of already was and Aaron was kissing back and grabbing at Dean’s shirt and hair. Dean pulled back once he realized that he wasn’t just imagining it happening.

“Shit,” Dean said. And stared at his half drunken beer. “I think we should, um,” Dean started.

“Stop?” Aaron finished for him.

“What? No, fuck that,” Dean said. He downed the rest of his beer and dropped some bills on the bar before pushing Aaron outside in front of him. 

The cold night air tried to sober Dean, but everything was still sort of fuzzy around the edges. His hand was at the small of Aaron’s back, and the feeling anchored him to his decision. No matter what part of him told him this wasn’t a good idea, his hand stayed in place and told him it was what he wanted. 

Dean only struggled a few seconds before unlocking the door and once they were on the other side, Aaron turned around and was pressing Dean against the door in seconds. Dean hadn’t actually kissed a guy before, and nothing could have prepared him. He’d thought about it lots, sure, but he could never have imagined it like this. Aaron had scruff and it scratched Dean’s cheeks and lips and left his face feeling tingly. Aaron was shorter and smaller than him, and Dean was pretty sure he was on his tip toes as he pressed into Dean. 

“Bed. The bed,” Dean mumbled between kisses. Strong kisses with rough lips, something he’d never experienced before. The aggression and strength Aaron put into kissing him turned him on even more. It felt so fucking good to finally do what he’d thought about for so long. He’d even contemplated picking up some one night stand he didn’t care about, just so he would know men were something he actually wanted, but he’d never gotten the courage to do it. 

Dean thought it was better that way, because he actually liked Aaron. He got along with Aaron and Aaron knew about his life and wasn’t scared by it. Aaron thought he was fucking pretty and Dean loved to be so wanted.

Aaron was moaning and pulling Dean, so they walked toward the bed. The rest was a blur of awkward fumbling to get rid of clothes and even more awkward confessions of it being Dean’s first time with a guy. Aaron took it easy on him and let Dean fuck him and it was so good. 

When Dean woke up the next morning, he was a bit disoriented. He forgot where he was and why he felt so gross, until he remembered. When he looked to his side, Aaron was still lying there. It didn’t look like they ended up spooning so at least there was that. Dean was surprised at that being his first thought, and not something like ‘oh fuck I got drunk and fucked a guy’ because it really wasn’t some drunken mistake. Dean thought that maybe there was a part of him on that drive to Wichita that wanted this to happen. Dean felt only a mild panic, but mostly a calming sort of bliss. He didn’t care anymore about trying to be someone he wasn’t, he was done trying to hide parts of himself. He laid back and stared at the ceiling for a little bit, then decided to shower since it didn’t look like Aaron would be waking any time soon, and maybe he didn’t totally want to be there for that. 

When he stepped back out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, Aaron was rubbing his eyes, then suddenly stopped and stared at Dean. 

“Dude, what?”

“Shit. Did we really…?”

“You’re not gonna have some weird freak out, right? Like I was surprised enough that I was okay with it when I woke up this morning,” Dean said, really hoping this wasn’t going to turn into a thing. 

“No. No, fuck no. I was just worried I’d maybe dreamed it or something,” Aaron said, flopping his head back down on the pillow, but still staring at Dean. 

Dean started feeling awkward, and sort of objectified to be honest, not that he really minded that much. “I’m just gonna grab some clothes,” he said, running fingers through his wet hair. 

“If you must,” Aaron said with almost a pout. Dean didn’t know how to deal with this sort of blatant appreciation. Sure, Dean knew he was pretty damn good looking but he’d never exactly been drooled over like this. Like he was satisfying some sort of insane wet dream. He tried not to let it feed his ego too much. 

After they’d both showered and dressed, they got a quick breakfast and hit the road. Dean thought it might be awkward, and had no idea how Aaron would react the day after, but it was totally fine. Outside the bedroom, Aaron hardly even ogled Dean at all and he was pretty sure no one would be able to tell they slept together. They argued about music in the car and Aaron made fun of Dean’s cassette tapes and Dean threatened to leave him on a curb somewhere. 

When they finally got to the bunker, Dean almost wished they didn’t have to go in. It was like a delayed panic settling over him; he’d actually have to face Sam and Cas after sleeping with Aaron and it seemed far more daunting now. Aaron didn’t leave him a chance to dwell on it though, as he was already banging on the front door. 

“I do have a key, idiot,” Dean said as he opened the door for them. 

Sam greeted Aaron friendly enough, and Cas seemed to be his moody awkward self.

“This is Cas. He’s sort of an ex-angel and very bitter about it,” Dean said as a way of introduction. 

“Woah, cool. Nice to meet you,” Aaron said. Dean couldn’t remember if he had mentioned Cas while he was drunk but there wasn’t anything in Aaron’s reaction to suggest that he did. 

“Aaron’s just gonna stay with us for a few days until he can get some money wired to him and maybe we can get him on a train home or something,” Dean said. 

After that, everyone fell into fairly casual conversation. Sam filled Dean in on some news from Garth and Dean gave Aaron the tour. The day went by pretty fast, and soon the four of them were watching some bad movie on TV. Dean felt sort of weird when didn’t know whether to sit beside Aaron or between Cas and Sam, so he ended up sitting in a separate chair. Sam went to bed first and Cas next, saying he was tired and something about how sleeping was still very new to him. 

As the credits started rolling, Aaron got up to stretch. “So, uh, if you wanna just get me a blanket I’ll be fine on the couch.”

“Oh. Sure,” Dean said, feeling oddly disappointed. “I mean, you can sleep in my room if you want. If you don’t want to, that’s fine, just thought I’d offer.” Dean didn’t know when this became awkward. Maybe Aaron sensed that Dean was having a bit of trouble with these worlds colliding.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Aaron asked, biting his lip, but looking Dean up and down. Dean liked the hunger radiating from Aaron and decided it was definitely a good idea.

“Yeah. I have lots of other good ideas too,” Dean said as he stepped toward Aaron and kissed him. They made their way to Dean’s room undetected and tried to stay quiet, covering each other’s mouths when they moaned and biting pillows. It was reckless, but Dean decided he wanted to stop worrying about what other people would say if they found out. Dean fell asleep tangled in Aaron’s limbs, hot and sweaty and content. 

~*~

Castiel woke up feeling groggy and grumpy. He had never been so moody, but being human was a pretty big step down from what he was used to. It was a hassle needing to eat and drink and wash and sleep. It didn’t help his mood that he felt there was something wrong between him and Dean. Ever since they all met up in the bunker, something’s been off, and Cas has been wondering what he’s done wrong. Sam has remarked he’s “moping” but Cas has shrugged it off, because if he was moping, he would know what to be moping about.  
He went out to get breakfast and noticed there wasn’t anyone lying on the couch. He thought Aaron would be sleeping there and a moment of panic went through Cas. He didn’t know the human well but he seemed to be friends with Sam and Dean, and Cas’s first assumption was that something horrible had happened. 

He quickly made his way to Dean’s room and opened the door, already in the middle of a sentence. “Dean! Your friend is –“ and Cas stopped instantly as he saw not just Dean, but Aaron in Dean’s bed. “Oh. I’m terribly sorry. How rude of me,” Cas said as he left the room and shut the door again. He only barely heard Dean’s “Cas, no.”

Dean sat up in bed quickly. Aaron had been laying on his arm, tucked into Dean’s side, but Dean rolled him off. 

“Fuck,” Dean breathed. Yeah, he’d been feeling pretty on top of the world the night before. He didn’t care who knew, but now that someone did know, he didn’t feel so great. Especially since that someone was Cas. Would Cas think differently of him? Dean couldn’t really imagine Cas being mad about Dean liking guys. Maybe Cas wouldn’t care at all. Somehow that seemed to bother Dean just as much as any other option. 

“Shit,” Dean said again, rubbing his eyes. He got out of bed and pulled on some old clothes. When he opened the door, Sam was coming up the hallway. 

“Everything okay? I thought I heard – Oh,” Sam stopped mid-sentence when he was standing in front of Dean and looking into his room. “Um, Dean?” Sam said, then opened and closed his mouth and made many different faces, as if figuring out the proper way to deal with this situation. 

“Wow, okay. Really didn’t expect to have _this_ talk this morning,” Dean said, wondering how everything got fucked up so fast. 

Dean shut the door and made Sam sit with him in the kitchen. Cas was gone, and he sort of had to deal with one thing at a time. 

“I mean, I guess I’m not really that surprised. But sort of just surprised about Aaron. But I mean there was that whole ‘he’s my gay thing’ and I sort of thought you were joking but, oh my god, were you not joking?” Sam said in a hurry, looking like his life was flashing before his eyes. 

“Nothing happened back then, don’t worry. This was just… When I picked him up in Wichita it sort of… I don’t know man. Do we have to do this?” Dean said, making a pained face.

“Look, Dean. I support whatever lifestyle you choose,” Sam started. He sounded like a high school counselor. Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. “I just didn’t think Aaron… was your type.”

“My type?” Dean said, bewildered. “So you’re not shocked that I slept with a guy, just that you don’t think he’s my type,” he deadpanned. 

“Basically. I thought your type was more… um,” Sam coughed to cover a laugh. “Angelic,” he said slyly. Dean smacked Sam’s head. 

“Oh my god, Sam. I’m leaving. Don’t… be weird to Aaron,” he said as he got up. 

“Going to get Cas? Yeah, good luck with that,” Sam said as if he knew something Dean didn’t. 

Dean got out of there before he could even lace up his boots properly. Cas couldn’t have gotten too far on foot, so Dean got in the Impala and picked the direction that seemed most likely. It didn’t take long before he saw Cas walking on the side of the road. He pulled up behind him and and got out. 

“You shouldn’t be wandering so far from the bunker alone,” Dean said calmly. 

“I can look after myself, thank you, Dean,” Cas said with an edge to his voice.

Dean didn’t know what was wrong between them, but Cas was still walking away. “I know. Sorry. Cas, just stop for a second.”

Cas sighed and turned around. “Can’t I just go for a walk? It’s a nice day out,” he said, solemnly. 

“Sure. But you have to talk to me first, man. Why do you seem so upset by this? Do you have a problem with me… liking guys?” Dean asked, unsure of how he should breach the topic or how Cas would take it.

Cas laughed bitterly. “No, Dean. I… I don’t know. I’m not upset.”

“Sure seems like it to me,” Dean shrugged.

“Sam says I’m moping,” Cas says, looking down as he scuffs his shoes on the road. The statement seems pretty off topic to Dean. 

“Yeah? Moping about what?”

“That’s what I said. He won’t tell me but he always acts like he knows. How would Sam know something about myself that I do not?” Cas asked, genuinely confused. 

Dean sighed and shook his head. He felt fond of Cas, a sort of nostalgia for this Castiel. “Yeah, he can be annoying like that. Come here,” he said as he tapped the hood of the Impala, which he was already leaning against. Cas joined him.  
“I don’t understand my feelings and my moods, Dean,” Cas said quietly. He almost seemed ashamed… maybe he was. 

“Part of the beauty of being human. Those nasty feelings are sometimes hard to interpret,” Dean said thoughtfully. “Tell you what, as long as you tell me we’re good, I’ll give you some time to work out what you’re feeling and you can tell me when you’re ready.

“That sounds good,” Cas said. “Of course we’re good, Dean.”

Cas let Dean drive him back to the bunker and when they got in, Aaron and Sam were eating breakfast, and Cas and Dean joined them as if nothing had happened. 

Later that day, Aaron had finally been able to get some money wired to him and Dean dropped him off at the train station. 

“I don’t mean to overstep, but now that you’re sort of out of the closet, you should go for it,” Aaron said. 

“Go for what?” Dean asked, confused as to how Aaron would know anything about his life after only two days. 

“Any idiot can see you like that angel guy. Look, I’m just glad I got my chance with you before you realize how head over heels you are,” Aaron said and shut the car door. Dean just stared with his mouth open at the empty seat. 

It was an awkward few days in the bunker and Dean was glad to get a case from Garth. Sam and Dean were out of town for a week and gave Cas strict orders to stay in the bunker. They taught him how to use Google before they left, so that he could help with research from home. 

The night they got back, Dean laid on his bed, tired out from monster ganking. 

The timid knock on the door made him roll his eyes. “Come in, Cas.”

“Remember when you told me to tell you when I figured out how I was feeling?” Cas said as he came into the room and shut the door behind him. 

“Uh, yeah. So… did you?” Dean said, sitting up and letting Cas take a set on the bed beside him. 

“This Google you showed me turned out to be very useful. It took me a while to find the proper emotion, but I think it was jealousy,” Castiel said. 

“Uh, what?” Dean couldn’t think of a proper response to that. Dean was expecting anger or confusion or pretty much anything BUT jealousy. “You what?” Dean asked again.

“I did not know that you had the ability to enjoy male bodies that way,” Cas said, still not looking at Dean. Dean had a mixed reaction to such wording.

“Ugh, do you have to say it like that?”

“Like what?” Cas asked, finally looking at Dean.

“Nothing. So um, you didn’t realize I could like guys. Sure, it took me a while to figure out myself, I guess,” Dean said, scratching his head. This was so not a talk he wanted to be having right now. 

“I think… I wondered… why you would feel something for him that you did not feel for me,” Cas said, very ungraceful for the former angel. “Is this vessel not pleasing?”

“What? No, I mean, yes, but. Fuck, Cas. What are you trying to say? Because you’re sort of confusing the shit out of me. You want me to like you?”

When Dean said it out loud, it sounded ridiculous. Dean had wanted Cas for so fucking long and the guy is sitting there thinking Dean has absolutely no interest in him. Castiel, the fucking angel of the lord, wants Dean? He can understand someone like Aaron wanting him, but not Cas. It’s like finding out the world really is flat or something. 

“I don’t know. I have always felt a strong bond between us, but only recently have I started feeling… so strongly,” Cas said. Dean knew this must be hard for him to talk about. He was thousands of years old but hadn’t ever felt lust before. Dean wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He wanted the same thing from Cas, but it was more than that. Dean couldn’t just have a physical relationship with Cas, there’s no way he wouldn’t want more after that. 

“Cas, don’t get me wrong, I like that body you got for yourself. It’s… confusing though. I mean, it’s like I wouldn’t have liked Jimmy Novak or anything, it’s just because it’s you in there, you know? I don’t know if that makes sense to you,” Dean said, staring at his hands. 

When he looked up, Cas was smiling. 

“Dean Winchester. Do you not remember I used to be able to see your soul? And it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Cas said and Dean laughed because he didn’t know what else to do. “There was something else I found on Google.” Cas paused and Dean urged him to continue. “I think what I feel towards you is what love feels like,” Cas said as if it was a scientific observation. 

Dean lost his ability for words, which he was never great at in the first place. Instead, he put his hands on Cas’s cheek and kissed him. Cas did nothing and Dean wondered if maybe this isn’t what he wanted at all. But then Cas was clutching at Dean’s shirt and moving his lips against Dean’s. Cas eagerly licked into Dean’s mouth as if he was a mirage and would disappear any second.

It was so different from Aaron. Cas was more toned, yet softer. His lips were more chapped but tasted so much better to Dean. He’d wanted this for so long, longer than he’d even realized. Cas pushed him down onto the bed and Dean let him manhandle him as much as he wanted.

“I want,” Cas said between kissing Dean’s lips and through and cheeks. “I want you so much. It hurts sometimes.” Cas bit at Dean’s throat and he wondered where he learned this or if he was really just this good because of how much he wanted it. 

“Cas. Wait,” Dean said, pushing Cas back. 

“What, Dean?” Cas said, annoyed. Dean could have laughed, it was all sort of ridiculous. 

“We should… slow down,” Dean said, and he could hardly believe he was saying it. 

“You don’t… I thought…” Cas said, suddenly unsure again.

“No, no. Cas, I want this. God, I want this,” Dean groaned. His pants were already uncomfortable tight and he wanted nothing more than to keep Cas in his room forever. “I want to do this right, though. It’s just… complicated. I feel like we shouldn’t just jump into this.”

“Dean, what do you want? To buy me dinner?” Cas said, sarcastically. When did Cas become so sarcastic? Dean did laugh this time, because he was seeing a whole new side of Cas. Dean could imagine Cas begging for sexual favours and pouting, and it was all too much for Dean. 

“I don’t know, Cas. I don’t know what to do. I just… I really have wanted this for so long. I don’t want to ruin it.”

“It’s not something fragile, Dean. We can’t break it,” Cas said, stroking Dean’s hair. It was a sweet gesture considering the position they were in with Cas straddling Dean on his bed. 

“It feels that way sometimes, though,” Dean said softly, running a hand up and down Castiel’s thigh. Cas lowered his head and pressed their foreheads together.

“Okay,” he whispered and kissed Dean slowly. “Goodnight, Dean.” Cas got off of Dean and went towards the door.

“Woah, hey. I didn’t mean you had to leave. You could um, stay here. With me. If you want,” Dean said awkwardly. He really had no idea what he was doing.

“I would like that Dean. But I’m still going to go brush my teeth,” Cas said with a grin. Maybe Cas wasn’t such a hopeless human afterall. Dean felt bad for a moment that he didn’t know how Cas learned any of these human things. He’d been sort of distant lately. He promised himself he’d show Cas the awesome things of being human, and then got up to brush his teeth as well. 

~*~

Two days later, Dean took Cas to dinner. The plan was to definitely not tell Sam, but the little shit was sort of annoying and the only way he could stop Sam from crashing the date was to tell him what it actually was. Once Dean admitted it, Sam just smiled like he’d won a game, and went to watch TV. 

Cas looked fucking hot in jeans and a dress shirt and Dean was surprised they even made it through their whole meal. Both of them agreed to skip dessert and they made out in the bathroom for a while. 

“I think two days of me acting like a real gentleman is enough, don’t you think?”

“Yes, I really think so,” Cas replied as they drove back home and Dean didn’t even worry about Sam seeing them as they kissed all the way to Dean’s bedroom. He didn’t hear any screaming, so he assumed Sam was safely in his own room. 

Dean never thought he’d ever get to see Cas writhing beneath him. It was the best thing he would ever experience. Dean sucked him off just to hear the noises he made. Dean didn’t know what this meant for their relationship, but there was nothing he wouldn’t give up for this. For the feel of Cas’s body under him at night and beside him in the morning; Dean couldn’t have wished for more. 

They were bound to fuck things up, and piss each other off, but Dean didn’t care because right now it was perfect. Dean fell asleep on Cas’s chest, hearing his heart beat go from rapid fluttering to a slow tempo.


End file.
